Releasing negative thoughts and nurturing a positive mindset is crucial for enhancing self-esteem and fostering confidence. This transformation is essential, especially during times of burnout, low self-worth, and decreased wellness.
When we attempt to do everything, we end up improving nothing—especially our confidence. I’ve learned that our minds function best when we focus on one task at a time and prioritize self-care. We are only one person and must make time for what truly matters. After all, our gravestones won't list the hours we worked, the tasks we completed, or our Pinterest-perfect projects.
What truly matters is understanding that our mindset shapes how we think, behave, stay motivated, and recognize our worth. It’s about knowing that good things are happening for us and that we deserve them.
This realization struck me at forty, after surviving a gunshot to the head, dealing with bullying, and facing countless challenges. I realized I wasn’t changing because I was too comfortable and afraid to use my voice and power. Time is short, and I’ve wasted too many moments worrying about the worst outcomes. Now, I strive to focus on the best. We are all capable of more than we think, so we shouldn't let others' opinions or judgments hold us back.
Understanding the Confidence Struggle
Many individuals, particularly women, struggle with self-doubt and negative self-perception. These feelings often stem from past experiences, societal expectations, and the constant comparison culture fueled by social media. But did you know that confidence is a skill we can develop through intentional effort and practice? It ebbs and flows—life challenges will knock us down, but the healthier our mindset, the stronger our resilience, and the easier it becomes to recover.
Practicing and maintaining a healthier mindset daily can empower you to take control of your goals instead of letting your mindset control you.
This was one of the hardest but most valuable lessons I learned. For people pleasers or those afraid of failure, letting go of negative thoughts can seem impossible. But you have two choices: stay in that self-defeating thought pattern, or get uncomfortable and try new ways to change how you feel and think.
Here’s what I suggest to start with:
1. Practice Self-Compassion
Self-compassion means being kind to yourself and speaking kindly to your mind. Avoid saying things like, "I hate myself" or "I am a failure," as these thoughts only worsen your mood and lead to further rumination. Instead of beating yourself up for mistakes, view them as opportunities for growth. Negative self-talk can deeply impact your self-esteem. Simple practices like speaking kindly to yourself, writing compassionate letters, or placing your hands over your heart can reinforce feelings of self-compassion and self-worth.
2. Celebrate Wins of All Sizes
No matter the size, every accomplishment or positive shift in thinking is significant and deserves to be celebrated. When you celebrate yourself, you continuously boost your self-worth and self-esteem. It’s easy to overlook small achievements, but celebrating wins of all sizes can profoundly impact your confidence. Over time, this practice reshapes your thoughts about what you have, want, and envision for the future, fostering a more positive self-focus.
3. Use Positive Affirmations
Positive affirmations are powerful tools for reshaping your mindset. Start by writing affirmations like "I am strong and capable" or "I love myself," and expand your list to include five to ten attributes you aspire to embody, such as resilience, courage, or kindness. Reciting these affirmations daily, either out loud or silently, can rewire your brain to focus on your strengths, helping you internalize a more confident self-image.
4. Embrace Challenges, Even If They Seem Scary
Trying new things is a powerful way to boost confidence. Everyone experiences fear when starting something new, but by trying, we can achieve more than we ever imagined. Each challenge we overcome strengthens our belief in our abilities.
5. Surround Yourself with a Positive Support System
The people around us significantly influence our confidence. Surround yourself with individuals who uplift you, support your goals, and appreciate you for who you are. Positive reinforcement from others can validate your efforts and help build your self-confidence. It’s equally important to distance yourself from those who are overly critical or unsupportive, as they can hinder your progress.
6. Avoid the Comparison Trap
In today’s world, it’s easy to compare ourselves to others, especially on social media. However, comparisons are often unfair and can undermine our confidence. Instead, focus on your unique journey and progress. Your worth is not determined by how you measure upto others—embracing your individuality and celebrating your strengths can make all the difference.
Why Building Self-Esteem and Confidence Matters
Building self-esteem and confidence isn’t just about feeling good in the moment—it’s about creating a foundation that empowers you to take risks, pursue your dreams, and navigate life’s challenges with resilience. When you view yourself as capable, skilled, and powerful, you're less likely to be held back by fear or self-doubt.
Remember, anything is possible, and you are far more capable than you think. All it takes is a moment to silence the noise in your head telling you otherwise.
Kate Glendon, MPH is a public health professional and a Best Ever You certified life coach, with over 15 years of experience in leading and managing various health promotion and prevention programs that enhance the well-being of the community. www.glendoncoaching.com
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