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Writer's pictureBest Ever You

The Psychology of Change: Why It’s So Hard and How to Cope

By Dr. Katie Eastman and Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino



Change is a natural part of life, yet for many of us, it feels anything but natural. Whether it’s a career shift, a move, a relationship ending, or any other transition, the process can be overwhelming. Why is change so difficult, even when it’s positive?

The answer lies in our psychology. Our brains are wired to resist change, favoring the safety of the familiar over the uncertainty of the unknown. But while this resistance is normal, it doesn’t have to hold us back. By understanding the psychology of change and adopting tools to navigate it, we can transform transitions into opportunities for growth.


Why Our Brains Resist Change

At the heart of our resistance to change is our brain’s survival instinct. The brain’s primary goal is to keep us safe, and it does so by favoring predictability. Familiar routines, environments, and behaviors provide a sense of security.


When change disrupts this stability, it triggers the brain’s fight-or-flight response, flooding us with emotions like fear, anxiety, and even anger. This reaction isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s biology. Understanding this can help us approach change with more compassion for ourselves.


Some common psychological barriers to change include:

  • Loss of Control: Change often makes us feel powerless, as if we’re no longer in charge of our circumstances.

  • Fear of the Unknown: Without a clear view of what lies ahead, our brains tend to imagine worst-case scenarios.

  • Attachment to Routine: Habits and routines create a sense of comfort. Breaking them can feel destabilizing.

  • Identity Shifts: Changes that challenge how we see ourselves—like a career change or divorce—can feel particularly unsettling.


How to Cope with Change

While our brains may resist change, they’re also remarkably adaptable. With the right strategies, we can calm our fears, process our emotions, and move through transitions with greater ease.


1. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness helps anchor us in the present moment, reducing the overwhelm of focusing too much on the past or future. Simple practices like deep breathing, meditation, or even a mindful walk can help calm the mind and create clarity during transitions.

2. Validate Your Emotions

Change often stirs up complex emotions—fear, sadness, excitement, and everything in between. Instead of pushing these feelings aside, acknowledge them. Journaling or sharing your thoughts with a trusted friend can help you process and understand your emotions.

3. Reframe the Narrative

Instead of viewing change as a threat, try reframing it as an opportunity. Ask yourself: What can I learn from this experience? How might this change align with my values or open new possibilities? Shifting your perspective doesn’t eliminate fear, but it can help you move forward with curiosity.

4. Break It Down

Big changes can feel overwhelming, but breaking them into smaller, manageable steps makes them more approachable. Focus on what you can control and take one step at a time.

5. Lean on Support

You don’t have to face change alone. Whether it’s friends, family, a therapist, or a coach, seeking support can provide encouragement, perspective, and a reminder that you’re not alone.


Moving Forward with Confidence

Change is never easy, but it doesn’t have to be debilitating. By understanding the psychological roots of our resistance and equipping ourselves with strategies to cope, we can navigate transitions with greater ease and confidence.


If you’re facing a change in your life, start by being kind to yourself. Acknowledge that resistance is normal, and take small, intentional steps forward. Change isn’t just a disruption—it’s an invitation to grow, to realign with what matters most, and to discover strengths you didn’t know you had.


About the Authors

Dr. Katie Eastman and Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino are dynamic collaborators dedicated to empowering individuals to navigate life's changes with clarity, purpose, and resilience.


Dr. Katie Eastman is a licensed psychotherapist, Master Grief Coach, and the author of Uplifting: Inspiring Stories of Loss, Change, and Growth. With over 25 years of experience, Dr. Katie specializes in guiding individuals and organizations through grief, loss, and life transitions. Her compassionate approach blends psychological expertise with mindfulness practices, helping clients transform challenges into opportunities for growth. Dr. Katie is also a sought-after speaker and consultant, recognized for her ability to inspire and educate audiences on the complexities of change, grief, and resilience.


Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino is a bestselling author, motivational speaker, and CEO of the Best Ever You Network, a platform dedicated to helping individuals and organizations achieve their best. Elizabeth’s books, including The Change Guidebook and Percolate: Let Your Best Self Filter Through, encourage readers to embrace change with intention and live authentically. With a background in journalism and leadership from St. Ambrose University and Harvard Business School, Elizabeth has built a career dedicated to fostering positive transformation.


Together, Katie and Elizabeth are the hosts of the Real Life Podcast, available on Spreaker and iHeartRadio, where they share insights, interviews, and stories that inspire personal and professional growth. Their combined expertise spans psychology, coaching, leadership, and personal development, making them trusted voices in navigating change and creating lives filled with purpose and authenticity.

Whether through their books, speaking engagements, or the Real Life Podcast, Katie and Elizabeth provide tools, strategies, and encouragement to help individuals and organizations thrive amid change and uncertainty.

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