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What to Do When You Feel Like a Failure



Dealing with feelings of failure can be difficult, but it's a common aspect of life. Feeling like a failure generally indicates a belief that you have not lived up to your own or others' expectations in a significant manner. This perception can be triggered by various circumstances, including:

  1. Falling Short of Goals: Failing to achieve personal, professional, or academic goals that you have set for yourself can evoke feelings of failure.

  2. Comparing Yourself to Others: When you measure your accomplishments, progress, or life circumstances against those of others and feel inadequate, it can intensify feelings of failure.

  3. Encountering Continuous Obstacles: Confronting ongoing challenges, hurdles, or errors may create a sense that you lack the ability or the potential for success.

  4. Striving for Perfection: Establishing excessively high standards for yourself can result in feelings of failure if you are unable to meet those standards.

  5. Receiving Criticism from Others: Negative feedback, rejection, or a lack of support from those around you can bolster feelings of inadequacy.

  6. Internal Self-Doubt: Sometimes, feeling like a failure originates from self-doubt, where you question your capabilities and value irrespective of your actual accomplishments.

Essentially, feeling like a failure is a subjective emotional reaction that signifies disappointment in oneself. Its intensity can vary, ranging from occasional thoughts to persistent feelings of worthlessness, depending on the circumstances and an individual's perception of their self-worth.


Nevertheless, it's crucial to bear in mind that feeling like a failure is not an absolute truth—it's a transient state of mind often influenced by our perceptions, anxieties, and societal expectations. What one person perceives as failure may be viewed as a chance for learning or personal growth by another.


Here are some steps you can follow to manage those emotions:


  1. Recognize Your Emotions: It's crucial to acknowledge and embrace your feelings. Suppressing them can heighten their impact.

  2. Reframe Your Mindset: Challenge negative thoughts by reframing them. Instead of saying, "I'm a failure," remind yourself, "I'm evolving and learning."

  3. Emphasize Progress, Not Perfection: Understand that mistakes are normal. Focus on your advancements and the small wins you achieve.

  4. Establish Attainable Objectives: Divide your goals into smaller, achievable tasks. This approach can provide a sense of control and reduce feelings of being overwhelmed.

  5. Extract Lessons from the Situation: Reflect on what went awry and how you can handle things differently in the future. Each setback is an opportunity for growth and enhancement.

  6. Seek Assistance: Share your feelings with a trusted individual. Sometimes, simply expressing your thoughts can have a significant impact.

  7. Cultivate Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer a friend facing challenges. Be kind to yourself.

  8. Prioritize Your Well-being: Engage in activities that bring you joy, whether it's exercise, hobbies, or spending time with loved ones. This can enhance your mood and outlook.

  9. Live in the Present: Avoid dwelling on past errors or worrying excessively about the future. Concentrate on the actions you can take now.

  10. Remember Success is a Process: Success is not a linear journey. There will be highs and lows, but what matters is that you continue moving forward.


If you’re interested, books like "Atomic Habits" by James Clear or "The Change Guidebook" or "The Success Guidebook" by Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino might offer additional insights and strategies for overcoming setbacks.


About Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino


Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino is a bestselling, award-winning author, multifaceted entrepreneur, master coach, and speaker with a deep commitment to personal development and positive change. She is widely recognized for her contributions to the self-help and wellness communities, particularly through her books The Change Guidebook and The Success Guidebook.

Hamilton-Guarino is the founder and CEO of The Best Ever You Network, a global platform that offers resources, coaching, and content to help individuals live their best lives. The network focuses on promoting well-being, personal growth, and success, aligning closely with the themes in her books.


Her writing emphasizes the power of resilience, adaptability, and intentional living. In The Change Guidebook, she provides readers with practical tools to navigate life's changes by aligning their actions with their core values and truths. The Success Guidebook introduces the concept of "Success Stacking," where small, consistent actions lead to significant achievements over time.


In addition to her work in personal development, Hamilton-Guarino is also an advocate for health and wellness, particularly in the area of food allergies. She has been instrumental in raising awareness and providing support for individuals and families dealing with allergies.


Hamilton-Guarino's work is characterized by a blend of practical advice, motivational insights, and a deep understanding of the human experience. Her books are designed to empower readers to embrace change, achieve success, and live authentically. She has co-authored Percolate: Let Your Best Self Filter Through and is a respected voice in the personal growth community. Her background and expertise make her a valuable guide for those seeking to navigate the complexities of change with grace and intention.


Visit ElizabethGuarino.com for more information.


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