We want to extend our heartfelt thoughts to anyone impacted by the wildfires. Some of you are there facing the trauma, some of you love someone facing the trauma and all of us are collectively witnessing the pain of loss. We at Best Ever You want everyone to do whatever you can:
Reach out to anyone you know who is impacted
Speak from your heart
Let them know you are thinking of them
Offer practical support like sending self- care items and clothing
Let them know you are there and will be there for them!
Wildfires not only destroy homes, possessions, and landscapes but also take away intangible elements that are deeply tied to our sense of self and community. These include the loss of safety, belonging, and the familiar routines that anchor us. People may grieve for a sense of identity tied to a place that no longer exists or for relationships and connections that were shaped by their community. There is also often a deep mourning for memories tied to physical spaces, the irreplaceable heirlooms that carried stories, and even the comfort of knowing where ‘home’ is.
These intangible losses are often harder to articulate and process because they’re invisible, yet they are just as significant as the physical destruction. This is where compassion, both for oneself and others, becomes a powerful tool.
Supporting someone enduring intangible losses after a wildfire requires compassion, active listening, and a commitment to showing up. Here’s how you can help:
What to Say:
1. Acknowledge Their Loss:
• “I’m so sorry for all that you’ve lost. I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you.”
• “It’s okay to feel overwhelmed by everything you’re going through.”
2. Validate Their Feelings:
• “Losing your sense of home and safety is such a huge loss—it’s understandable to feel the way you do.”
• “This is a lot to process. You’re not alone in this.”
3. Offer Support Without Pressure:
• “I’m here to listen whenever you need to talk.”
• “What do you need most right now? I’m here to help in any way I can.”
4. Avoid Minimizing Their Experience:
• Instead of “At least you’re safe,” say, “It’s so painful to lose so much, even when you’ve survived.”
What to Do:
1. Be Present:
Sometimes the best support is simply being there. Sit with them in their grief, without trying to fix it or fill the silence.
2. Provide Practical Help:
• Offer meals, clothing, or temporary housing if needed.
• Assist with tasks like filing insurance claims, finding resources, or cleaning up.
3. Encourage Connection:
Help them connect with support groups, counselors, or community events where they can share their experiences and find solidarity.
4. Help Preserve Memories:
• If they’ve lost photos or memorabilia, encourage them to gather stories or create new keepsakes.
• Offer to help digitally recover photos or reach out to others who might have shared memories.
5. Create a Sense of Normalcy:
• Invite them to simple, grounding activities like a walk, a meal, or even a shared hobby.
• Give them space to enjoy moments of relief without guilt.
6. Be Patient:
Healing from intangible losses takes time. Check in regularly and remind them you’re there for the long haul.